Sarah Palin Facts

By Kleinheider Posted on August 31, 2008 at 9:50 pm

In the tradition of Chuck Norris and Fred Thompson, a new meme has emerged in celebration of John McCain’s Veep selection — Sarah Palin Facts. Some of my favorites:

• When Sarah Palin attends ritual blood orgies, she always brings the most delicious ambrosia salad.
• Three of Sarah Palin’s five kids came out sideways - she never flinched.
• The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.
• Sarah Palin once bit the head off a live Osprey snatched from the air as it tried to fly off with a fish she caught.
• We don’t know who would win in a Chuck Norris - Sarah Palin cage match because they’ve never invented a cage that can hold Sarah Palin.
• Sarah Palin is the “other” whom Yoda spoke about.
• The Arctic Circle runs through Alaska so the Sun can have some relief from Sarah Palin’s bright glare.
• Sarah Palin’s finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling Biden’s still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.
• Sarah Palin makes Andrew Sullivan regret some key life choices.
• Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines.

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