The Steve McNair Jenny Kazemi Knew
Posted on July 6, 2009 at 10:02 pmJeff Fisher, Eddie George and others are all over the media talking about the death of Steve McNair. The tear-filled press conferences, the hour-long tributes featuring slow motion highlights, the reminders of his charity work — it’s all very moving.
It truly is. Steve McNair was a great athlete and he helped create and nurture a pro football tradition in Nashville. For that he should be recognized and commended.
But let’s not get carried away with the hero worship here.
This is a man who carried out an extramartial affair with a nineteen year-old girl. He bought her a car and secured himself a second residence where he could carry out his separate existence from his wife and his children.
Some will say we should not judge McNair by his private misdeeds. Everyone makes mistakes after all. No one is perfect.
That’s right, no one is perfect — least of all me. But did Steve McNair even try?
If bullets were never fired at that Rutledge Hill condo, I suppose we could go on believing the image that McNair and the Titans and others had constructed around him.
But those bullets were fired and they opened up McNair’s dirty little secrets to the world and his lifestyle has become public domain. It would be better if it hadn’t happened that way. It would have been better if we could have remembered him only as the family man, the football hero, and the man of charity.
Unfortunately, we can’t do that. We know things now that we cannot unknow. And, frankly, it is a little disconcerting to watch as some folks attempt to put the toothpaste back in the tube.
Even if he weren’t married, McNair’s relationship with Kazemi was more than a bit shady. Yes, Jenny Kazemi was of legal age and, as far as we know, consenting. But if Steve McNair was the “great man” everyone is now eulogizing, what was he doing shacking up with a 19 year old high school dropout?
Let’s get real. Kazemi’s background screams vulnerability and emotional immaturity. No, McNair did nothing legally wrong by bedding this woman, other than violating the terms of his marriage contract, but, my God, were these the actions of an upstanding member of the community?
For McNair to shower this young woman, essentially a child, with gifts, affection and attention, all the while allowing her to operate under the delusion, according to reports, that he would marry her, is the height of emotional cruelty.
Steve McNair is a 36 year-old father of four. He is a former professional football player and respected member of the community. Obviously, no one can truly know the actual relationship between two people but I think we can make some reasonable assumptions about the interpersonal dynamics at work here.
This, for the “Steve McNair that Jeff Fisher knew“, was not a proper relationship to be pursuing.
Jenny Kazemi is responsible for her actions, whatever they were. No one is saying she isn’t. But I find it hard to reconcile these glowing public tributes for a man who lived at least part of his life as though he were a character on the Sopranos.
Let’s not kid ourselves. Charity work cannot paper over what this was. This was a man using his power, position and money to get over on at least one vulnerable young woman.
I cannot reconcile in my mind the tributes of him with the knowledge of the lifestyle he led. I’m not saying the man should be trashed but if we give this man the honor and the glory due a “great man” do we not end up condoning the behavior he engaged in?
After all, we live in a free country where anyone is allowed to pursue the most happiness they can without hurting anyone. That is how it should be. No one should tell anyone how to live.
We were required to allow Steve McNair to live the life he wanted. However, we were not required to accept him as “great man” for doing so. A certain amount of social stigma is what keeps free societies from devolving into amoral anarchy.
Let’s also keep in mind that just as Kazemi was at a disadvantage with McNair in life, she is also at a disadvantage in death.
She did not have a career of note. She did not build a brand that people relied on for their financial security. She was not beloved by many. In fact she is referred to in media reports by her given name Sahel, a name her friends did not call her.
We are asked to forget McNair’s transgressions and remember him in happier times on the field in his glory days. But we only know Kazemi at her worst, most tragic moment.
No one is saying that McNair’s name should be driven through the mud or his accomplishments tainted and discarded. No one is saying he deserved what he got. Nothing like that should be taken from this.
But the circumstances are the circumstances. He lived how he lived and he died how he died.
I can’t forget that, I don’t care how much film you roll from the good ole days.
SEE ALSO: GoldnI
Comments
98 Responses to “The Steve McNair Jenny Kazemi Knew”
Remember that movie with Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine? The Apartment? First thing I thought of when I read the report that McNair and another guy had gone in together on that place.
FYI - It’s Jeff Fisher. Not Jeff Fischer.
Hey, you forgot to end this with a HARUMPH.
Yes, Steve McNair, athlete, Nashville benefactor, part-time role model, was also a philanderer. Why, who knows? Maybe he missed the hero worship given to him as an athlete. Maybe, for different reasons, his relationship with Mechelle had grown stale after having children. Maybe he was just a horndog.
Definitely, he should have been more careful, shouldn’t really have gotten involved with a sweet young woman and, possibly, led her on (or, maybe not, maybe she inflated things beyond what they really were). His behavior, really, is not excusable.
However, I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit here and let you moralize and quasi-imply that he had it coming. Whether you realize it or not, that’s what you are saying here, and I have to say not just no but HELL NO.
Steve McNair maybe got extra praise because he was a leader on the football field. He probably did. He also did a lot for the Nashville community; hell, as a Memphian, he and Fisher were the only Titans we liked down here (but that’s another story).
But you’re going to imply that this man who pulled himself up by his bootstraps, the way we tell EVERYONE in this country they should do it, this man who built a house for his mother on the land on which she chopped and picked cotton as a child, somehow deserved his fate?
Look, dude, I’m a Buddhist and I UNDERSTAND the concept of karma, trust me on that one. But I have to call bullshit on this, you booted this one. That’s ok, this is your place and you have the to call it as you see it.
I also have the right to call BS on it, too.
I knew this was coming. I deleted that Twitter update wondering why you hadn’t posted this yet, thinking it was too soon for that joke, but I knew this was coming.
Can we just summarize by saying that there is no one in this universe who is as moral and perfect as Adam Kleinheider and therefore he is entitled to sit on high and make judgments about everyone else, and tell everyone who we are and are not allowed to judge?
And by the way, your City Paper column from this morning implied that you’re trying to find out what “true love” is. How are you planning on doing that with such impossibly high moral standards? You can’t quite do that if you’re constantly reminding yourself of the flaws of everyone you meet.
My colleague Adam and I come from different generations and starkly different views of the world. We are not close friends, and nobody has ever asked me to take his side in any PP debate. But he has hit upon an essential truth here, as I view life.
I see nothing in his post suggesting either of the deceased deserved what happened. I do see plenty of moralizing, of the rare intelligent variety — arguably the Dr. Johnson/Alexander Pope variety. I would like to see more, from left, right and center, well beyond this blog.
I have what I consider strong beliefs about what is right and wrong. I try to live my life by a code that would never allow me to engage in calculated deceit of my loved ones. I also try to understand how the life experiences of less privileged folk might influence their behavior, but I view a vow as a vow, worthy of communal support regardless of circumstances.
I don’t see anything in that last graf that ought to mark me as someone on the right or the left. I know people of all political persuasions who feel more or less as I do.
I admired Steve McNair for what I knew of his community activity. I’m sad about what has happened. I stand in condemnation of nobody. But even as someone of only vestigial Christian background, I find myself mentally setting apart the sinner from the sin — trying to love the one and deplore the other.
Two recent, first-person, essay-length posts from ACK roughly equal about a week’s worth of pithy linkage.
First, “how soon we forget Michael Jackson was an alleged child molester” and now this.
I see what it takes to stoke your moral dudgeon. Someone dies and gets recognition that you don’t think that they deserve.
Way to allow your bully pulpit to go to waste.
GoldnI lecturing anyone for holding themselves up as superior is guffaw-inducing. Is there anyone this side of Mancini who comes to the table with more of an “I’m-better-than-you” attitude?
Well you found it relatively easy to attempt to squash the story on a Racist employed on the “Tax payer’s dime” working for State Senator Diane Black. What’s the problem? You are nothing special dear. As a matter of fact, hypocrites are fairly common. Get over yourself.
I agree that Mr. Mcnair’s affair was wrong, but Ms. Kazmi was old enough to know right from wrong. Silly successful rich men having affairs with beautiful greedy young women is nothing new. At least the Tax payers were not paying Mr. Mcnair’s salary.
Is there anyone this side of Mancini who comes to the table with more of an “I’m-better-than-you” attitude?
I’m not better than anyone else. But a lot of you “family values” types obviously are (until, of course, you mess up and then we just have to understand that everyone makes mistakes).
“I’m not better than anyone else.”
Saying it and living it are two different things.
Humans compartmentalize their thinking and often allow emotion to dominate analysis and objectivity. It’s wise to keep the full picture, the whole person, in mind. As much of it as we know, can see, or can intuit. Most of us, flawed as we are, hope that others will grant us that mercy. An even and profitable trade if you can get it.
I can’t cut people who prey on children much, if any, slack, but still I try to see the innocent children they themselves once were and to summon some compassion in that regard. Some people, however, have forfeited their pass in their world, and we must be protected from them.
As for McNair, he was old enough to be the girl’s father. She had not reached the age of of full reasoning and judgment, which comes in the early to middle twenties, according to some brain experts. I’m tired of older men taking advantage of young girls who have not reached the age of full maturity. This, too, is predatory. I’m tired of a society that seems to encourage this situation, though it is even more common in other current societies.
Remember when that radio host Art Bell, a guy in his sixties, took up with the young Filipina girl weeks after his wife died?
Yet I can see why they do it in terms of what the guys hope to relive, recover, recapture. They may have the biological programming that drives such attractions, but it shows a lack of maturity.
Many drugs, including alcohol, open a door through which very bad forces can enter, and in addition provide a liberated cruise for the worst elements residing in a person.
Good thoughts and writing, ACK.
I’m glad I have absolutely NO respect for professional athletes that gets in the way of accurate moral judgments of them.
Most of what Tom Wood said.
To my friend Donna, women have much to do with how men are biologically programmed, and young and not-so-young women routinely take advantage of men’s order-of-magnitude higher testosterone levels to receive things from men in addition to good or not-so-good “lovemaking.” Yes, he was ALSO taking advantage of her; and I consider men who shower money and gifts and false promises on women to get sex from them as the worst sort of scabs.
JHC! A fine eulogy this is.
Wintermute, that’s swell, you have NO respect for professional athletes. Did one pee on your Corn Flakes one morning? And does this apply only to football players, or does it extend to tennis players, golfers, bowlers and shuttlecock stars as well? I mean, I see your point; they devote hours and hours of rigorous training and study to their chosen profession and are paid at the rate society has deemed appropriate, this fact alone should make them scum of the Earth material.
You know, this is not much different than ACK’s closing thoughts on Michael Jackson. I wager this will be the same when various famous people kick off this mortal coil. Ever the contrarian — but whence the libertarian?
“This was a man using his power, position and money to get over on at least one vulnerable young woman.”
Yep. Exactly.
He’s the very personification of Patriarchy and exploitation.
That doesn’t excuse his horrible ending or justify it in any way. But it also befuddles me as to why his ability to play a game should excuse his inability to navigate the rest of life with grace and maturity.
Well done Kleinheider!
Just think of all of those chances at intervention that perhaps could have given Mcnair a WAKE UP CALL and get help or start to forge some sort of reconciliation with his own demons.
Here’s the test for all of you “Role Model” and “Hero” worshippers:
Explain the sordid history to your kids … ALL OF IT. The repeated DUIs, the romancing of an underage girl while still married - a girl with enough forethought to buy a gun, and the circumstances surrounding McNair’s untimely death.
Hell why not discuss it around the dinner table with all of the kids and the wife present - see if it passes that “role model” test then.
I’m guess I’m having a difficult time understanding how being faithful to your spouse is an “impossibly high moral standard.” A moral standard certainly, but by no means impossibly high, since hundreds of millions of spouses manage to remain faithful to their spouses every day of their lives.
Also, wasn’t GoldnI part of the Sherri Goforth “Get-the-racist!” police just a couple of weeks ago? Speaking of “moral dudgeon,” there sure was a lot of that going around then over some mid-level government functionary. But football stars and pop singers? Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let’s keep those nasty little moral judgments to ourselves, thank you very much.
Just my opinion, but it seems to me that there are few things less democratic (small-d) and less egalitarian than giving celebrities passes on bad acts and indiscretions for no other reason–and it really is the only reason–than their celebrity. Let’s face it: if we read a story in the paper with this same set of facts, but instead of “Steve McNair” than name of the victim in question was “Al Roberson” or “Gary Williams” or some such, the immediate reaction of most of us–including the GoldnIs of the world–would have been indifference coupled with the feeling of “well, you play with fire….”
P.S. Steffens is a Buddhist? Ha! It gets even better. That totally made my day, and it’s only six-thirty in the morning. Thank you for that.
[...] I’m guess I’m having a difficult time understanding… [...]
How many of you haters have a skeleton-free closet?
How many of you have ever done anything to make thousands of people stand up and cheer?
Many of us are mourning the loss of a great football player. Ease up.
“…it also befuddles me as to why his ability to play a game should excuse his inability to navigate the rest of life with grace and maturity.”
- Kat, that is eloquently stated.
And no, fidelity in marriage is not an “impossibly high moral standard”. As with many things in life, one simply has to have the desire to do it - an exercise of will, not feelings.
The question arises whether rescuing someone from their mistakes because of celebrity status is a loving, compassionate behavior or a cruelty in the end. It would appear that no one cared enough about either of the deceased to try to dissuade their actions.
I beleive my God asked the same question in a different way.
Let he who is without sin, throw the first stone.
McNair was a great guy who made a bad choice, and our choices have consequences.
How anyone can call a cold blooded killer a “sweet young lady” is beyond me.
OK kids, this is how it is. Only have sex if you are a heterosexual married to someone of the same race, class, and are close in age. Otherwise you will die and it will be deserved.
There may be a time and a place where I might agree with everything you’ve said here, ACK. But, Solomon did not write that there is a “Time and a place for everything under the sun” just so The Birds would have a mega hit in the 60’s.
Although it seems oversimplified, it’s one of life’s truisms.
Morality is just like any other power which can help or destroy - guns, alcohol, sex, an automobile, etc - it is dangerous in the hands of one not ready to wield it.
I feel you have chosen unwisely here.
I say this as someone who is likely to agree with the premise of this post.
At the very least, these discussions need to wait until the man is in the ground. Most likely even later than that, after passions have cooled and grief has a little less sting. At this point, it just seems like a cruelty to those who are grieving. That includes many of the people of Nashville who did not persnally know Mr McNair, but felt they had a bond with him nonetheless.
And, if I’ve learned anything being the spouse of someone in the hospice field, we do not have the right to tell others how or who they will grieve.
Waiting to speak will not make your words less true, or important, but it wll make them more appropriate.
[...] Aunt B. Shoot, I guess I’m going to have to write about Steve McNair one more time, because Kleinheider keeps writing about him. Here’s the thing, as far as I’m concerned. People do stupid shit. It was stupid of [...]
So you’re saying a 36-year-old married father of four shouldn’t be seducing a teenage girl at a sports bar? Gosh. You’re being awfully judgmental.
How anyone can call a cold blooded killer a “sweet young lady” is beyond me.
How do we know it was in cold blood? My guess is that she killed him with fire, emotion, and passion.
I think you’re right about this, ACK. I think McNair had many good qualities and should be remembered as someone who gave back to the community, but he also made some terrible mistakes in his personal life. I think we all tend to eulogize when someone we admire passes away. If nothing else, it’s easier to focus on the positives when you know someone is gone forever.
He shouldn’t have done it but he didn’t deserve to die. The subtext of the tut-tutting is that since he was somewhere he shouldn’t have been, he got what was coming to him. Some people feel that way, I don’t.
I didn’t get a chance to comment yesterday but I read a comment somewhere on here that talked about blaming the victim. You can spin it any way you want but when you start questioning why he was where he was and was with who he was with, that’s victim blaming. And as someone said yesterday this is starting to turn into “blame the victim” much like folks still do in this day and age about rape. She was where? At what time? She was dancing on the bar? In that skirt? Well no wonder she got raped….
Fucking someone who isn’t you wife shouldn’t get you murdered. The finger wagging in this case is sickening and only serves to comfort the self-righteous who can sleep better at night knowing that at least they aren’t as sinful as that Steve McNair fellow.
Rob, you make good points, but Slarti had this right, this could have waited. Also, AC is starting to sound like the grumpy old man who yells at kids to get the hell off of his lawn.
It is possible that he & his wife were separated.
Steve wasn’t trying to hide this relationship.
Thank you, Mr. Kleinheider, for at last pointing out the elephant in the room.
Thanks to the escapades of Bill Clinton, the standard line about adultery today is that everybody does it. Well, that’s just not true.
Had he been banging a 20 y/o guy, many of you would have had six fits, but since it’s just plain old fornication and (thou shalt not commit) adultery, it’s ok because he was good at his job of providing mindless violent entertainment.
Whatever they are paying you as a writer, it’s too much. Not only does your diatribe stink of judgement, it reads like a high school paper on why drugs are bad. God I hope you get fired.
Kosh iii, what are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything? Moron.
“mindless violent entertainment” sounds like dinner time at the kosh household.
I got to see Steve McNair play football. He was a GREAT FOOTBALL PLAYER. Judge not, lest you be judged. EJB.
This is a interesting take. But, I would have to quote ESPN writer Jamel Hill from her column on 7/6,
“McNair may not be exactly what we thought he was, but he was pretty close. And that should be good enough.”
You can’t bullshit those young girls for long. You shouldn’t tell them you’re divorcing your wife, even if you are. Buy them things, take them places, but don’t tell them anything.
If they feel they’ve been made a fool of, young girls often become irrational…and dangerous. They might key your car, or burn it up, steal your personal effects, call your wife and tell-all and/or call the cops if they know your dirty secrets (weed, coke). Certainly, nothing good will come of it.
And women from other cultures seem to have a false sense of entitlement and a lower threshold concerning sex and promises made. If you make promises to them, you had better keep them.
They don’t play the games American women play, and their families don’t, either. If she hadn’t done it, someone in her family might have.
If she was Islamic, and subject to those societal pressures therein, they were ,both, in over their heads, I think.
and the black prince makes part of my point. she was a different age and different race/nationality/religion, therefore he should have known he would suffer death.
pathetic.
There’s still questions unanswered. How did Sahel (soon mayhaps to be the most hated gal in Nashville history) fall on a gun that she might’ve just used to put a bullet in her own brain? Who was that young blond what caught a McNair “roofie” pass last year, and did her boyfriend really threaten to kill Steve?
And why the fuck did Wayne Neeley not call 911 immediately? Did anyone see him exiting their shared compartment with an overloaded wheelbarrow full of who knows what thingers might be in a rented non-bachelor fuck palace?
But in the end, it’s a bad day for Steve’s family. Their Green Hills home is for sale; I expect that they will retreat to Mississippi as soon as it sells.
RIP to the Steve I saw between the lines. To that other guy, just WTF were you thinking?
‘“mindless violent entertainment” sounds like dinner time at the kosh household.”
only for the dismembered and fried chicken.
Great post Adam, you have to call it like you see it. Murder is wrong, and what has happened to McNair was an injustice. No one deserves to die like that. But this is not a political issue. At the end of the day, McNair was human, just like the rest of us. And the people who want to idolize this man, just like the fans of Michael Jackson, have a hard time realizing their loyalty and bonding to a fallen celebrity is irrational. Most people are mourning a man they’ve never met. The poor decisions made by McNair are no different than the decisions made by Mark Sanford. The endings are different, but there aren’t near as many people by comparison who are excusing Sanford. No one is forgiving Sanford’s actions because of all the things he has done for his community.
“If they feel they’ve been made a fool of, young girls often become irrational…and dangerous.”
Yep, because scorned young men never do anything like stalking, tire slashing, beating up, or bombarding their ex-girlfriends with e-mails and phone calls.
Oh wait!!
More than twice as many women are killed by their husbands or boyfriends as are murdered by strangers. (Arthur Kellerman, “Men, Women and Murder,” The Journal of Trauma, July 17, 1992, pp. 1-5)
And: One-third of all female homicide victims are killed by husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends or ex-boyfriends. (NCJA Justice Research, “States, Federal Government Increasing Focus on Violence Against Women,” September/October 1990, p. 3)
NEVER MIND!
[...] Commentary on Nashville Post The Steve McNair Jenny Kazemi Knew : Post Politics: Political News and Views in Tennessee [...]
I’ll remain uncomfortable with speculating on their relationship, and on the one McNair had with his wife. First off, its none of our business. Perhaps there are people around that don’t see marriage the same way our society dictates it should be seen. Real love isn’t easy, it demands that you give that loved one all of the freedom he/she requires. Try that, and get back to me.
Any suggestion that this woman was in ANY way a victim is rooted in a victim-mindset, that sees injustice whenever a woman trades sex for riches, or just plain old excitement. It couldn’t sound more hollow than it does in this instance.
Adam. I’m going to ask like I asked when you used this same boilerplate post to remind the world that Michael Jackson was a whacko. Can you please point me to the posts, columns, tweets that suggests there’s a celebration of Steve McNair’s lack of commitment to his marriage vows or his decision to prey on the weaknesses of this 19 year old. It seems to me the coverage is two-fold: 1. Reflections on his football play and the nice things he did for people. 2. Obsessive attempts by people to play Law & Order / CSI detectives. I haven’t heard any “Isn’t it great how sleazy Steve was.” that you seem to suggest people are doing when they say he was a unique and special football player. It must be really difficult for you to live in such a nuanced world as this.
Rex,
I obviously can’t speak for ACK, but I can speak for myself and draw from that a supposition.
I don’t follow football and didn’t follow any news reports about this crime. All the information I got came from Twitter. I know that Kleinheider and Ihave a large common set in our Twitter feeds; I also know that much of Saturday and Sunday was an odd combination of genuflecting and morbidity.
I think ACK, like me, may be melding new media and old, and drawing his conclusions thusly. No, WSMV & WKRN may not be effusively excusing McNair, but much of Twitter and FB seem to be.
I sorry Mr.Kleinheider you come across as an asshole not knowing all the details regarding the situation, secondly not knowing the rules based on religious belief, you sound pretty dumb. Maybe you should read a bible before you build your soapbox. We’d hate to have fall into your own slop like the pig you are.
ACK, you did realize you were swatting a hornet nest, right?
It’s very sad to me how individuals find it so easy to point out the obvious! Do we need any of you telling us how wrong McNair’s actions were, I don’t think so. But if it makes you feel better about yourselves go ahead. The true meaning of morals it to carry ONESSELF in a respectful manner that is acceptable by society. For those who chose not to carry themselves in that manner, my job as a Christian is to pray for their souls that God will have mercy on them for their transgressions, forgive them and receive them in his arms as one of his Children. Just as I would like forgiveness when I fall short. maybe you people have never needed forgiveness, I gather you are perfect from your postings. The question here is “Who do you think you’re fooling?” For all of you pointing fingers, let’s see how you will fare under scrutiny. If on a lie detector whould you pass the “I’ve always been faithful to every woman I’ve ever been with question. Or what about I treat every person with the respect and dignity that I would like to enjoy myself. Let’s try, “Me oh I’ve never treated anyone bad, manipulated them to get what I want, or even worked hard to get them “out of the picture” so that I may advance my own agenda. Think hard and long, you never know who’s watching you.
It never ceases to amaze me how those of us who live in glass houses can throw stones, so easily. I have to agree with a few of my fellow posters that ‘getting a little strange’ is not and should not be a death sentence. On the other hand was it right? Not my place to agree or disagree.
Secondly, why are we so quick to look down at someone because they work at Dave & Buster’s? In today’s economy there are some people who would love to just have a job! Everyone wants to assume that because Sahel Kazemi was only 19/20 years old she was naive. I think not, she recognized the ‘goose that would be laying the golden eggs’. She had been in this city for 5 years, she crossed state lines with her parents consent with another guy. This was not a shy girl, she is probably more worldly than any of us will ever be. Since there hasn’t been any evidence that there was a confrontation at the condo, I can’t say nor will most of us ever know what happened. It’s tragic but neither of these two are innocent nor are they guilty enough for both of them to be dead.
Yes, I will miss Steve, yes, I thought he did some really great things so I will mourn his passing. I knew nothing of Sahel until this tradgey so it is quite difficult to have a lot of emotion about her passing. If indeed, she is found to be the perpetrator and then killed herself, may God have mercy on her soul.
Remember, if you live in a glass house….watch out for the rocks, stones, and boulders!!
You know what, no one is perfect, far from it, and who are you to judge. There are so many “upstanding” men and “public figures” in this city and so many others that are doing exactly the same thing if not worse and I sure as heck don’t hear you condemning them. Yes, he made a mistake, so did she. Yes, his marriage was not perfect, is anyone’s? He WAS a good man, he helped many many people and I know many other men that have made similar mistakes involving extra marital affairs that are still GOOD men, they just end up confused and unhappy and don’t know what to do. I am in no way condoning the action or affair of Steve McNair but I AM saying leave his memory alone, it is difficult enough for his children and his wife to deal with this situation, let alone to see his name and legacy crushed in what is supposed to be his home town paper.
Shame on the Post for allowing this just
for the sake of a response.
Did any of you actually read the above article? It doesn’t say that McNair “had it coming”. It didn’t denegrate Kazemi - in fact, he points out that she was being used.
No, the author is noting how the adulation being poured out for McNair keeps returning to the “he was a great person” mantra that keeps cropping up.
He was a great athlete. Absolutely.
He was a great member of the community. Sure.
He was a great friend to many. Undoubtedly.
But in the ONE area that really matters - being faithful to his own family, being a great husband and father - McNair fell far short.
Was he separated from his wife? Maybe - who knows. The fact remains that he was still married, and he owed it to his family to wait until any divorce was final to start sowing his wild oats. Kids accept divorce far easier than they accept divorce and the fact that dad is cheating on mom.
So remember McNair for all of his good points - but calling him a “great guy” is incorrect.
yo quit blamin on a g for getting his nut. A lotta people be cheating up in here.
The true meaning of morals it to carry ONESSELF in a respectful manner that is acceptable by society.
What is acceptable by society is not necessarily moral at all.
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a sick society.” -Krishnamurti
While he was not great to you Doc, to many he was the Greatest! I know it hurts you, but this is America and you can’t tell others how to feel. Maybe you’ll be remembered for being great when you die (and you will die one day. With luck someone will remember you
This entire situation probably would have turned out differently if alcohol and probably other drugs were not involved.
Yeah, Wintermute, the girls do know what they are doing, to great extent, but girls (and guys) under age 22 or 23 do not possess full clarity and maturity of thought. Not yet. Some parts of the brain haven’t fully developed yet. Even the most mature-seeming teens and twenty-year-olds are not really so mature.
This is one of the reasons I oppose sending young people under age 22 to war or to military service at all. These young people aren’t capable of making the best judgments for themselves or others yet, and they still need the guidance of responsible, nonpredatory adults.
I get what Adam is saying in the post and pretty much agree, but I do feel it’s our saving grace to keep the whole person in mind and weigh the good with the “bad.” Doesn’t mean we have to excuse any behavior, though.
y’all just be angry cuz you can’t get no teenage girl like my boy McNair. Quit hatin.
I just want to agree with one of the previous posters, that in this economy, you should not belittle anyone for their current occupation, whether it is being a janitor or working up in an adult Chuck E Cheese like Dave and Cap Busters. People need to get serious and not be so conceited.
Work is tough to find these days. I’d kill for a gig at dave and busters right now. Does anyone know if Kazemi’s job is open?
Yes, we all know getting a teenage girl, when you are rich, powerful and famous is HARD.
Yo Brittney you sound like a freak can i get yo number?
I think we should rename the country of Iran to “Dave and Busters”
I didn’t realize that working at a Dave & Busters was not appropriate for a 20-year old. Hell I was scooping ice cream and working in retail for minimum age at that age. Anything to make a buck.
Uh, make that minimum WAGE.
Sheesh.
LOOK ALL YOU IDOTS. GET SOME EDUCASHUN IN IRAN AND SOME CULTURES IT’S CONSIDERED A SIGN OF AFFECTION TO SHOOT GUNS AT PEOPLE, BUT SHE DID NOT KNOW HE WAS NOT WEARING A FLAK JACKET SOMETIMES YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK
Stop taking we women infidel American man! when i tink of Mcnair me want shout in crowd and waive fist in air
Great piece and I totally concur. Am just getting caught up with this McNair story and plan to write piece from my perspective soon.
Do anyone know if this Kazemi got a sister? Relax… I don’t want to date her,..forgetaboutit… But let’s just say im looking for a good “cleaner” in the Nashville area.
In this country, adultery & child-molestation have become so “common-place”, they are no longer considered wrong, or even according to some posts, not even considered a sin. This article is pointing out that HE DID COMMIT ADULTERY. ADULTERY IS A SIN. Those are truths, not judgments. It takes one person to point it out, & then everyone cries foul because they don’t want to give up their hero-worship. He was a great football player (truth, not judgment). He was a giving citizen (truth, not judgment). He cheated on his wife & kids (truth, not judgment). For all that we loved him as the leader of our home-team, think of the betrayal his wife must be faced with. Not just that he was having an affair, but that he was murdered in it! Think of the pain & devastation this must cause her. I don’t think “hero” would be the first word she’d use to describe him. I agree with everything this article says & more. Way to stand out there!
You are projecting, Christine. Because you would feel betrayed, Mrs. McNair must undoubtedly feel likewise? Maybe. Maybe not. A sin? Are you serious?
May Betty Bowers one day take you to task…
Meanwhile, down in Atlanta:
http://www.peachpundit.com/2009/07/07/the-michael-jackson-effect/
Christine, hating is also a sin. So stop hating.
No seriously, maybe he DID commit a sin. Are you without sin? Not if being an idiot is a sin. Why do Christians feel the need to judge people based on their own belief system? SINNER!!
Southern Beale wrote:
July 7th, 2009 3:12 pm
“I didn’t realize that working at a Dave & Busters was not appropriate for a 20-year old. Hell I was scooping ice cream and working in retail for minimum age at that age. Anything to make a buck.”
ANYTHING to make a buck?? he he he
It’s obvious by the style of hit and pattern of gunshot wounds, that the Iranian was a trained assasin. She was a professional.
This means that Iran has declared war on the United States. We need to go bomb them.
Steve McNair was a great, great man? Why? Because I won money betting on games he won for the Titans and he gave my nephew an autograph once. For me, I am not capable nor worthy of even considering Mr. McNair in any other “light”. I am completely unable and unwilling to have an opinion because that would be judgmental on my part. Gov.Mark Sanford? Gov. Spitzer? Mark Foley? Larry Craig? Pacman Jones? hell, anyone involved in a “scandal”, I have no opinion on. I was dismissed from jury duty once because I told the judge I was unable to “judge” anyone. I am simply an empty minded moron who is impressed only by athletic and entertainment achievements and am enamored when someones gives an autograph.
Just Thinking Out Loud:
These are two of the most mind-boggling stupidity-laden sentences I’ve believe I’ve seen this year, and that includes most of Biden’s extemporaneous quotes.
A young 20 yo girl just gets out of Metro Jail, having spent the night, likely for the first time. That had to be some scary times: Friday Night in Nashville’s Drunk Tank for $5, please. Steve (having left her for jail, in a nice taxi) picks her up at 8:00 AM. Steve’s probably remembering his own two bouts in jail (the same arresting officer as busted him in ‘03, and don’t I recall someone saying they heard this officer stating he was ‘gonna get’ McNair, before that first bust? but that’s a different angle…) AND the copious amounts of negative pub he received. That’s might have put his mind to thinking, ruh roh, this is gonna stop ri cheer.
Steve tells the young and super-freaked-out (but oh so worldly!) Jenny that the plug is pulled, the goose is gonna stop shitting gold eggs; he’s turning another new leaf, yadda, yo. Go.
Jenny gets her gun. Later that day.
Oh, but there was no ‘evidence of confrontation’ in the condo, eh, JTOL? Just 4 shots, two to the body and one each to a temple. Then a fifth shot.
That just can’t be contentious, I don’t guess…
Oh. Friday Night was Thursday Night, right? These end times, they’re just running together. But, the gun was bought after the jail time, is how I understand it.
Bravo. The most intelligent commentary, yet.
You have to know the fame and image obsessed “Who art thou to judge?” hypocrites will come out of the woodwork.
I wonder how many would have felt if this was THEIR daughter who got used like this. Make no mistake, if your daughter reads People, watches MTV, follows Paris, Britney, and Lindsay….you can bet, she would have gone down the very same path as this bimbo, too.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
McNair didn’t deserve to die, but Ms. Kazemi didn’t deserve to be taken advantage of and then discarded like yesterday’s garbage, either.
Yeah, it does look like a professional hit. The kids watch too much TV.
Yes, Jenny Kazemi was of legal age and, as far as we know, consenting. But if Steve McNair was the “great man” everyone is now eulogizing, what was he doing shacking up with a 19 year old high school dropout? Jenny or whomever she was, is old enough at 19 to join the Army and die for this country; she was old enough to drive; old enough to work; old enough to vote and old enough to leave her parent’s home. So, I hate to tell you this, but she was also old enough to use her “best asset” to get a man. That’s what she apparently did best. It’s my understanding that McNair was separated and getting a divorce, but I don’t know him, so I can’t say for sure. I can say this: That young woman had him snowed to the point that he bought her a car. Cadillacs are not cheap. He didn’t have to buy women. He was good looking and rich enough to get any woman he wanted. Too bad he wasn’t smart enough to stay away from that woman who obviously played some role in his death. And he should be remembered for what he did on the field and for the public. BUT his legacy should be a lesson to the 2 legged dogs out there who can’t keep their pants zipped. Women will be your downfall if you let them (and so will men)!
I was basically following the author’s theme until he went off on a tangent — adding criticism of McNair’s/Kazemi’s 16-year age difference to his criticism of McNair’s infidelity.
In the process, the author came across as judgmental about a subject in which he may lack any real-world experience.
In my experience, 16 years is not necessarily a problem. My wife is 18 years younger than me, and it’s never been a problem for either of us. The success of any relationship depends upon the man and the woman and this is true for couples of all ages.
We’ve been married for 8 years, have 2 kids (plus one on the way), and live a very comfortable and happy life.
The author should not have used McNair’s infidelity with a younger woman as an opportunity to smear an entire group of people (older men/younger wives).
Does anyone truly believe that if the murderer Sahel Kazemi had lived to age 35, that she would have ‘matured’ into a normal, stable woman?? I highly doubt it. In fact, in my experience that type of woman just gets crazier with time.
He was an adult. She was an adult. The entire critique of their age difference is really irrelevant to the discussion of his murder. Let’s leave it at that.
What a crock. It might be a decent opinion if ACK wasn’t aggregating every little nuance of the tragedy to increase the hits and ad revenues for the business that employs him.
Look at the Sugardaddy everyone! Bad Sugardaddy! She’s a child. She’s of course responsible for her actions. Look at all the dirty laundry the media simply has to air. No one wants to drag him through the mud.
Geez, dude, grow a pair or at least pick a lane.
Some of us are forgetting that there are children who lost a father, a wife who lost a husband, a mother who lost her child, a friend who lost a friend, and a team who lost a leader. “We mourn with those who mourn”. Two people are gone who are never coming back. I choose to look at McNair/Kazemi how God chose to look at us when we were dead in our moral judgment. He loved us knowing we were in desperate need of a savior because of the misdeeds of our hearts. So no we are not perfect. We have all fallen short of Gods standards, but we don’t practice being imperfect, nor do we condone ANY sin which a Holy, Righteous, and Just God has no relationship with. Read the Bible in its context! If you do not agree with the bible then this message isn’t for you and you should be getting pissed right about now… am I right?? That’s ok, that’s natural when one speaks on things spiritual. McNair/Kazemi did have it coming to them. We all do. Death is an appointment none of us will miss. Trust me! There are people who die of lung cancer who have never picked up a cigarette. Explain that one? We should care less how man judges us on this earth, but I do believe we will be judged justly when we die. So to all those who think it ok to transgress, I beg to differ. There is no justifying that to the judge who judges justly. In other words, God does not think it’s cool to cheat in your heart or on someone else. So don’t be a fool. Confess you are guilty and lets call a spade a spade. If McNair accepted Jesus as Savior before he died, then I can’t wait to see him at those pearly gates!! Obey God and leave the consequences to Him. Forgive so you will be forgiven when you screw it up (which you will…probably today, lol). Repent and move on. Love you guys!!
If he had been at home with his wife and children he would be alive today….
Yes, clford, or, if he had been shacking somewhere else that day. Whats your point?
“If he had been at home with his wife and children he would be alive today….”
Exactly.
I agree with you on this. I’m disturbed by the hero worship of many of our celebrities. The most recent (Michael Jackson and Steve McNair) have been the worst to date. Michael Jackson being the worst. These people were human and not deserving of the excessive worship that has occured over the last few weeks. They did some wonderful things and deserve some extra attention for their passing, but not what we have seen and not without more acknowledgment of their failings. Especially in McNair’s case.
McNair didn’t just start sleeping around on his wife recently, it has been common knowledge of the local sports media that he was doing this from his earliest days in Tennessee. Buying cars etc… for other women. All along fathering two other boys outside of marriage.
He isn’t alone, there are others in the Titans and Predators organizations that have done the same thing. One is now a local radio personality. They are given a pass.
This doesn’t cause us to ignore the good things. McNair was a good man in many ways, but he wasn’t a great father in terms of respecting his wife and spending time with his second life with other women and staying out to all hours of the night.
Some will bristle at this and I’m not the first to say it, but here it goes. He should have been at home with his family and then, he would have been worthy of great celebration.
Is it not fair to judge McNair on all the harm and pain he caused others vitimized by his “Hidden” life? I have a hard time forgetting that he seems to have caused a great deal of shame and pain to fall down on those who loved and supported him the most…his kids and wife. Perhaps all you “Left Wing Crackers” disagree…but are these the actions of a great man? I think not. Although…he was a GREAT football player. Of course no one should die for what he did…but let’s give the “He was a great man” stuff a rest. He was simply a great football player and philanthropist.
I loved watching Steve McNair play football. I loved the attitude he carried onto the field and the leadership he displayed off the field. McNair was one of my all time favorites.
He will always be remembered for those traits and his short comings rationalized by moral equivocators of our times. After all, it was just about sex.
But what if MCnair had been involved with dog fighting as with Michael Vick or gambling as with Pete Rose? Would WOW, Goldnl and Reality be rushing to his defense?
It’s not just about sex. It is about a life style that results in pain and suffering and death. I loved McNair, but he hurt a lot of innocent people very badly. In light of that, Kleinheider is questioning the celebration of McNair’s community hero status. It is a valid question.
An excellent article, Steve was a great football player but like so many he did not control his social life, he let it run wild with a 19 year old that was more than willing to play with POPS as long as POPS played her game. You live be the sword, you will wind up paying one way or another.
tnautry, you are correct and thank goodness the TN taxpayers were not paying McNair’s salary. But I sort of wish she would have lived through her gun shot wound. Maybe then we could pay for her to sit on death row. Premeditated murder; cold-blooded murder of someone who is asleep. That would be a trial worth watching. Or would it? Maybe I am not thinking logically. So far I’ve heard Jenny (or who ever she is) name one time too many. No, I’m glad she completed her mission. I just wish that Steve McNair had not been her victim. BUT think about this: What if she had tried to kill his family? I’m glad she didn’t think that far ahead. I heard she was trying to figure out who his new girl friend was. Oh well, Rest In Peace, Steve. I hope you have finally found yourself. And ladies, send married men packing home to their wives. Let them work it out and get reunited — or divorced. But don’t enable their behavior of running around. We women are stronger than that.
Some things still don’t make sense - judgment or no judgment aside - if Steve McNair really called off the affair Thurs after bailing Ms Kazemi out of jail, why was she selling her furniture (it was reported that she was selling her furniture because she expected to move in with him) and why did they plan to meet at their condo Fri night?
When he was dropped off by a friend (not sure which friend), it was reported that her car was already there as expected (read a report that stated he told someone at the Blue Moon Lagoon he planned to meet her back at the apt after going out that night because she was not old enough to get into bars.)
And… why would a man fall asleep casually on the couch while someone with whom he was having a contentious break up was in his apt?
Also, in whose name was the gun registered? And, who are the witnesses to Ms. Kazemi’s alleged purchase of the gun? If she bought the gun from a private dealer, why hasn’t he being charged? It is illegal in TN for even private dealers to sell to those under 21. Why is the NPD so casual about the seller “not knowing” she was under 21. If it the seller’s responsibility to know in a private sale, but a background check isn’t required, why hasn’t an arrest been made?
Sahel was not a victim. She was the perpetrator. She could have turned down McNair’s pursuits knowing that he was married. She didn’t have to get involved with a married man but she did. That does not give her any right to end a man’s life. If one is unhappy in a relationship, leave. It is as simple as that! No one has the right to end a person’s life because that person may have cheated on him/her. Point the finger at the true culprit, Sahel Kazemi!
It amuses me that anyone could entertain the possibility that Steve McNair “cheated” on Shahel Kazemi.
Steve cheated on Mechelle- the only person to whom a thinking person would suggest McNair (should have) had a commitment. Only skewed “logic” would suggest otherwise.
And where, in Kleinheider’s reference to all of Steve’s vices, is McNair’s fathering two (count ‘em!) sons out-of-wedlock? And what about the sheer egotism of having those two sons named for him? (I don’t know whose decision that was, but Steve obviously didn’t object.)
I applaud Kleinheider’s high moral standards. I don’t believe his/her articulating them makes him/her holier-than-thou.
Now, the argument is always made that a public person’s private immorality is none of the public’s business, so long as it doesn’t impact job performance. But it always impacts job performance because the person can’t be trusted!
The continuation of the argument is that if voters had known that FDR and JFK were adulterers they wouldn’t have elected them- and what a tragedy that would have been. I don’t agree. If FDR and JFK (Nelson Rockefeller- plug in the name that suits you) had not been their party’s nominees, we may have elected someone who would have done an even better job.
If society keeps lowering its standards of what is acceptable, we will soon have no standards.
Stacy Harris
Publisher/Executive Editor
Stacy’s Music Row Report
http://www.geocities.com/stacy.harris/
Write on, Stacy Harris!
Stacy Harris rocks!